Since you posted this on a public forum, why would you want to put yourself into this train wreck? Simply because I love him and I fell in love with these beautiful children and all three are worth it.
Since you are already in it, I would find an attorney you can talk with about your legal rights. (Not his attorney) A few questions to start with can be found below.
Will you have to show proof of your income when you are married or will Louisiana common law marriage take effect in the future? Is your income going to be part of his child support? If the mother does not pay a bill for his children, for example a doctor or hospital bills what does this do to your credit? If you are married what are your rights for visitation? Same applies if you guys split up? The same attorney that is handling my divorce from my estranged spouse has been advising me on these issues and more.
Past credit for child support. If he paid in cash, he is out of luck; it is his word against hers. Always pay by check or money order, Keep a copy of each forever. Child support in Louisiana is a percent of income. For some reason 25% comes to mind for two children. He always paid her by check and has the bank statements and canceled checks to prove it.
Another bit of free advice, anything and everything must be in the paper work for child support or visitation. Her, his or your word of mouth means nothing. For example, if he will have the children every other weekend a start day must be placed in the visitation part of the settlement. Also, you will need to add in holiday, and the mother will always have the children on Mother's Day, just like the Father would on Father's day. Christmas gets a bit harder as everyone wants the children for Christmas morning. Just rotate this by year. Same with other holidays get use to every other year. Also add something in about visitation on birthdays. What happens if someone moves away? Who pays for the children to travel? Also who travels with the young child? He documents everything and records all verbal communication between he and the Mother. He places on the calendar what times and days she brings them and what times and days she picks them up. We did the percentages of the time he has the children from his calendar markings and submitted those numbers to his attorney and she said that was more than sufficient. Believe me everything is on paper and well documented. Next are taxes, try to have each parent claim one child until the oldest cannot be claimed as a dependent. After that rotate the youngest child until he or she can no longer be a dependent. He claims his daughter on his taxes and the Mother claims the son on her taxes.
Medical insurance is next. Someone needs to provide the children with insurance. If it was me, I would have the father pick up the insurance for a few reasons. 1. You know the insurance is paid and making a co-pay is easier to pay out of pocket than a large bill. 2. Try to have this as part of the child support. He has full medical/dental/hospitalization insurance on both of his children. The insurance is deducted from his payroll. His attorney is trying to get it to where the costs of the insurance he pays on both children gets deducted from the amount he will have to pay in child support.
Private schools if he wants his children to be in private school this must be stated in the settlement. Also, be prepared to pay for this. It is never too early to think about college for the children have it stated in the settlement he will pay for half and the mother of the children will need to cover the other half. He suggested that with her and she will not budge on the issue. He had to agree to pay 65% of the son's daycare expense before she even put the son in daycare.
If the children are living in the same city, have it where they stay at least one night during the week. This is not fun time; the children will be in school and homework needs to be finished. Plus someone will have to drive them across town to school. She lives on the Eastbank and we live on the Westbank. She works on the Westbank and he gets the children every other weekend plus 2-3 nights per week any given week. The daughter attends school and the son attends daycare on the Eastbank and really thats all she does for her children is to provide transportation to and from school/daycare.
Seeking custody is not out of the question. My husband & I have custody of his son. His mother moved 13 times in 4 years. He was in 4 schools before 2nd grade. That by itself was enough considering that we had been in our home for 8 years at the time. As far as amount of child support, I learned that it really doesn't matter what happened in the past. We had, just like you have, provided her with so many "extras - for the child's sake". What we were told was that as long as there was no court order for support, there is no support owed. Basically the obligation to pay was your choice. The judge will look at the fact that you have been paying without a court order VERY favorable for you though. There is a worksheet for support obligation on the state OFS website. LA does take into account that insurance is being paid for and is figured into the calculation. If she has no job (my stepson's mother quit her job thinking that would help her get more money) the state calculates her a job at $7 per hour, because she HAS to provide support for the child, not only the father. It is not as easy as it used to be for the mother to get these outrageous support orders.
On the flip side, I was also a single mom who received (and still do) support from my son's father. However, we have a very friendly relationship and always put the child first. I collect a very minimal amount, but he provides a lot for my son, which I appreciate. I know that our relationship is rare.
coffeecups: I'm still lurking at the coming weather!
Apr 17, 2017 16:44:08 GMT -6
coffeecups: WOW! My patio was dry when I got home.
Apr 16, 2017 18:22:16 GMT -6
coffeecups: Came home to Harvey from Slidell. Had a little rain here and there. There was no rain in Slidell when I left at 3:30pm. While in NO EAST, I saw where it looked like it was storming around Covington going towards Slidell. Wet but no rain when I got home
Apr 16, 2017 18:21:07 GMT -6
coffeecups: I will eat some strawberries on my cruise in early May---just a few of course, as long as I stay away from my better half.
Apr 13, 2017 20:39:35 GMT -6
SKYSUMMIT: Yea, had a good bit of strawberries. Did NOT go to the fest though.
Apr 12, 2017 19:48:32 GMT -6
coffeecups: Sky, did you enjoy the strawberries?
Apr 12, 2017 18:43:30 GMT -6
SKYSUMMIT: yea, we're in a quiet lull right now
Apr 10, 2017 21:19:12 GMT -6
coffeecups: At least with the tropical forecast we have more to go on than fantasy.
Apr 9, 2017 18:00:26 GMT -6
coffeecups: Unfortunately for me, strawberries are a widower maker!
Apr 8, 2017 11:46:43 GMT -6
SKYSUMMIT: Man it's gonna be a nice weekend! If you're looking for something to do, head over to the Ponchatoula Strawberry Fest!
Apr 5, 2017 21:35:02 GMT -6
coffeecups: Are you getting like me?
Apr 5, 2017 11:08:26 GMT -6
wsmith0306: Can't believe I've never noticed this before. I must be getting old or blind. or both!
Apr 4, 2017 8:06:37 GMT -6
coffeecups: It felt cool this morning. Very nice weather!!!
Apr 4, 2017 7:13:20 GMT -6
coffeecups: Mary protected me again.
Apr 3, 2017 7:18:35 GMT -6
SKYSUMMIT: LOL wsmith....it's just a little chat box
Apr 1, 2017 8:53:27 GMT -6
wsmith0306: What's this "shoutbox" thing all about? I'm at work, so I'm whispering right now. Hope that's allowed :).
Mar 30, 2017 12:38:44 GMT -6
coffeecups: I'm hoping that I don't see any 'rare' rain events here.
Mar 29, 2017 7:39:51 GMT -6
coffeecups: ps I guess the memory of that snow is probably the only winter that I will get.
Mar 25, 2017 7:16:52 GMT -6
coffeecups: Somewhere around 1956 and 1958 it snowed so much that I thought I was in a blizzard. Of course I was only a child then, but the memory of that has NOT been met or surpassed.
Mar 25, 2017 7:15:41 GMT -6